Day 4 (31-Day Reset)

"No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall lead a life uncommon."

Assignment

Part 1: Am I Currently Living Out My Values?

For each value that you identified in your "Reset 10", rate yourself from 1-10 on how you feel you're acting out that particular value in your life.

1 = worst, 10=perfect

Well I only listed 2 things, God & my children but I guess I do value a few more, even if theyare way down the road many many years to come.

1. God

5. I go to church almost every Sunday (miss when the roads are bad) and I pray so much that I'm sure God wants to erase every song promoting His availability but I worry a lot...well, more than a lot which means I am not putting ALL of my faith in Him. I want to be closer to Him and trust Him because He is the one that will NEVER leave me or betray me or hurt me.

2. Children

9. I give my children every second of every minute of every day. I stay home with them. I breastfeed them. I sleep with them. I. LOVE. THIS. but everyone has told me that this is not healthy for them because if something were to happen to me, they would not know what to do. This is why I gave a 9. I do not feel as if I am hurting them in anyway by showing them the love, care and concern that I wish someone had for me. I feel like parenting is the one thing in my life that I can really feel proud about.

3. Career/education

5. I am halfway there. I have a BA in Psychology from a top university but my goal was to become a pediatric oncologist. I realized that while I am passionate about children and cancer research I really just love helping people. Maybe being a pediatric oncologist was not my calling and once my children are in grade school, I will pursue a career that allows me to help people every day. Suggestions? :)

4. Living situation

8. I own my house and I love my neighborhood. I have always dreamed of having a pool (don't have one) and I would like to have a few more rooms (guest room, playroom & office) but I am comfortable and we are not cramped.

5.Extracurriculars

1. I would give myself a zero but one of the playgroups we are a part of sponsored a family for Christmas and I participated so I deserve a teeny bit of credit. I LOVE HELPING PEOPLE. I wish there was time for me to volunteer. I used to volunteer at the hospital and pregnancy center and I would really like to continue but I'm not sure how the pregnancy center or hospital would like having me plus a toddler and infant (is a 6 month old still an infant??) around. :)

Part 2: What Do My Values Look Like in Action?

For each value that you identified in your "Reset 10", list out at least three actions that you currently take or that you should be taking in order to honor and fulfill that value in your life. What kinds of things would you be doing if you were living in full accordance with your values? What would it really look like for you to be able to rate yourself as a "10" on how you live out all your values?

1. God

Trust Him.

Trust Him.

Trust Him some more.

2. Children

1. Allow them to spend a couple of (not a few, a COUPLE) hours with my husband and/or parents without me around each month.

2. Suggestions?

3. Suggestions?

3. Career/education

1.Research various fields.

2. Figure out if I want to be a nurse, community mental health (like Region X), guidance counselor, school psychologist or teacher

3. Take a course towards that field.

4. Living situation

1. Devise a plan on how/when to add rooms to our house

2. Save money to fund the additions

3. Not sure...

5.Extracurriculars

1. Volunteer!

2. Hang out with my friends.

3. Make a point to play (piano) like I used to.

If you would like to do the 31 Day Reset, join us!

Day 3 (31-Day Reset)

"No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall lead a life uncommon."

Assignment

What matters most to you in life? The answer to this question is called your values. Take at least 15 minutes to jot down a free-for-all list of what means a lot to you.

Once you identify all of your values - all the things you care about, choose your "Reset 10" - a list of your TOP 10 values from your list. They don't have to be in any particular order, though you may certainly rank them if you'd like.

This assignment was very tough for me. I thought for way more than 15 minutes and the only values I could come up with were God (religion) and my children. I guess this could be a good thing but at the same time it's bad. Very bad. I am a 24 year old married woman, I am at the prime of my life so I think it is limiting to myself and children that they are such a big part of my life and I rely on them so much. My children deserve to spend time with people other than myself and I deserve time with my friends, husband, etc. but I have grown comfortable in my fear. My fear of rejection. My fear of betrayal. My fear of failure. And so this is how I live my life. Comfortable and surrounded by love… of a 6 month old girl and 17 month old boy. Is this okay?

If you would like to do the 31 Day Reset, join us!

Day 2 (31-Day Reset)

"No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall lead a life uncommon."

Assignment

For each of these specific areas of your life, ask yourself two questions.
1. What do I LOVE about this area of my life?
2. What do I HATE about it?

Lifestyle

Satisfaction with where you live/living environment, how you spend your leisure time these days.

• I absolutely love that we live in a safe neighborhood within walking distance of the park, pool and (man made) beach.
• I hate that I am so anxious about something happening to my babies that I have not left them with anyone (not even my husband) and as a result have lost connection with a few friends. I have really (secretly) been hoping to find a few single mom friends because although I have a partner, my thinking and many actions are more similar to a single mother than a happily married one.

Work

Satisfaction with where you work right now, what you do to earn your living.

• I love that it is not financially necessary (like for us to survive) for me to work.
• I hate feeling like people think I'm not contributing and nothing is my own. On Saturday, after keeping my children up SEVERAL hours after their bedtime, entertaining, etc. etc. for a week, (my in-laws were here) the babies and I woke up around 9:30 AM or so and my husband said I "don't do anything". I was more hurt than mad. I never ever ever EVER want my children in daycare and absolutely love spending every second of my life with them. Every second. (I mean, I miss them while they're sleeping and I'm still in the house with them!!!) but I feel like I contribute and saying I don't do anything makes me feel worthless. He later claimed he meant I didn't do anything that morning but I'm not sure why he didn't say that before the steam was pouring out of my ears.

Education

Satisfaction with your educational attainment to date - college, vocational school and other learning goals.

• I love that I was accepted to and graduated on-time from a top university.
• I hate that I was so sure of being a pediatric oncologist or trauma surgeon and now I'm not sure what I want. I like the idea of being a nurse and helping people feel more comfortable when they are sick. But I like spending time with my children and I love other children so I thought about being a teacher. As a child, I wanted to write and teach music on the side and those are still my passion so maybe I can be a freelance writer/piano teacher?

Finances

The current state of your budget/money management, salary, net worth, debt-to-income ratio.

• I love that we own a house and most of our bills can be eliminated if needed (they're just cable, internet, phone, etc.).
• I hate that I'm not contributing financially so some of the luxuries my husband and I enjoyed as children (such as plenty of trips out of state) are not quite available to my children yet.

Health

The current state of your mental, physical and spiritual health - mind, body, soul.

• I love how I have embraced this role of motherhood, breastfeeding, cosleeping, etc. I couldn't even say the word "breast" without blushing before I had my son. I am also proud of myself for losing a fair amount of weight (I am very embarrassed to say I lost 78 pounds after the birth of my son and STILL have more to go).
• I hate that I cannot lose weight easily and/or keep it off (supposedly) due to PCOS. Something that really triggers a horrible anxiety in me is death. I hate that I'm so comfortable with my life that I'm petrified to die. As a Christian, I should be excited about Heaven, but instead, I'm terrified of dying because it is an unknown and I do not know if I will know, love, be around my children.

Family

The quality of your relationships with family members, siblings, children.

• I love that my parents live so closely to us and anyone who has talked to me for a nanosecond KNOWS how much I love love love love LOVE my children!!!
• I hate that we have our ups and downs like any family but that I take them so poorly.

Relationships

The quality of your relationships with friends and romantic partners.

• I love how I've become friends with people from high school that I never thought I would and how my friends love and accept that I won't be anywhere without my children.
• I hate what happened to destroy a very important relationship in my life in July 2009. I hate how angry and hurt I am and that whenever I get upset about the smallest thing this person has done (I mean teeny tiny like forgetting to close the bedroom door), all of my feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, pure hatred, etc. come seeping back and within minutes, I turn into an angry, (sometimes) yelling crazy woman.

I posted a shorter, less candid version on my other blog. If you would like to do the 31-day reset, join us!

Day 1 (31-Day Reset)

Assignment:

1. Choose your "reset" notebook.

2. Choose your personal mantra.

1. I am going to go choose an upbeat notebook tomorrow after church. I am thinking lavender, purple, yellow, green and/or hearts.

2. My mantra is a song by Jewel.

"No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall lead a life uncommon."

You may be thinking "I've seen this exact post somewhere.". YOU'RE RIGHT! I have a public blog called "Mommy Wonders". That blog is for all of my mommy issues. This blog is more like a personal journal. Although I do not lie on Mommy Wonders, I tend to sugar coat my posts and do not always share how deeply I am feeling about an issue or concern. I am using this blog just for that. So stay tuned to BOTH!!

If you would like to do the 31-day reset, join us!